Lucha Underground: The Key

December 3, 2014 – Los Angeles, California

Dario Cueto congratulated Big Ryck on his new Lucha Underground contract. Ryck just wants his bonus in cash. Later, Johnny Mundo threatens Cueto in the bathroom. Cueto promises to give Mundo his promised money if he doesn’t hurt him. Mundo steals Cueto’s key as insurance. 

Pimpinela Escarlata def. Son Of Havoc
Ivelisse freaks out before the match, angry that Havoc keeps getting booked against women and little people. Havoc, voice-modulated, puts out an open challenge. Escarlata seems to be a Gorgeous George/Adrian Street/Danshoku Dino type, so Havoc is pissed. I guess Escarlata has been around forever, but this is my first exposure to him. On commentary, Matt Striker can’t just accept that Escarlata might be angrogynous and says it has to be entirely a psychological combat gimmick. Unlike Striker and unlike me, Vampiro doesn’t misgender Escarlata. Good for him. Near the end, Mascarita Sangrada ran out to chase Ivelisse to the back. Escarlata pinned Havoc after a smooch at 4:48. There wasn’t much going on here before the last 30 seconds. *¾ 

Mil Muertes def. Famous B
Total squash. Muertes wins in 1:10 with the Flatliner. N/A

King Cuerno def. Drago
Move move dive, move move dive, rinse and repeat. This wasn’t bad but there wasn’t any drama to it. Cuerno hit the Thrill of the Hunt for the win at 4:26, but it didn’t feel like he’d really done enough to build to the win. **¼ 

Mundo comes to the ring and threatens not to give Cueto his key back unless he gets his money right now. Ryck comesout and threatens Mundo, so Mundo attacks him. Konnan comes out next and says that Prince Puma actually deserves that money. That’s enough of a distraction for Ryck to attack Mundo. Puma comes out and attacks Ryck. With Ryck out of the way, Mundo and Puma fight. Officials break them up. Cueto gets on the microphone and says that Mundo can have his money (which he’s decided not to necessarily give to Ryck). The winner of a three-way ladder match will get the dough.

Fenix & Sexy Star def. Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Pentagon Jr.
I think maybe I don’t get they Lucha Bros hype. Fenix oversells to such an extent that I find it laughable, and I didn’t think I could get mad at overselling. Pentagon’s offense looks very weak, especially when he’s going through the motions against his brother. That said, I’ll take those weaknesses over Guerrero’s weakness, which is that he’s crazy boring. I’m just saying that it’s kind of wild that Star was the most impressive person in this match. Okay, to be fair, Fenix’s balance is really breathtaking; I’ve got to hand that to him. Star pinned Pentagon at 9:18 after Fenix hit him with the Meteora. ***