WWE ECW 162

July 14, 2009 – Miami, Florida

Shelton Benjamin def. Christian
This was solid, but had a slow middle portion. Vladimir Kozlov came out to do commentary in the early goings, distracting Christian. But then Benjamin’s win had nothing to do with that, so it just made the number one contender look like a total loser. Benjamin hit Paydirt at 12:41 for the win. ***

Yoshi Tatsu def. Paul Burchill
Tatsu botched a springboard here, but Burchill did the best thing I’ve ever seen him do and immediately grab him for a back suplex. Then Tatsu popped up and hit a Saikyou High Kick for the win at 3:35. Most of this match was crazy boring, but that ending showed that Burchill actually knew how to work. *½ 

Tiffany complements Tyler Reks on his Superstars matches. He asks for a match on ECW and she’s amenable. Did we need a backstage promo for that? Is Reks the new Ricky Ortiz?

Zack Ryder def. Goldust
This felt twice as long as it was. Ryder hit the Zack Attack for the win at 4:23. At least the right guy went over. **

Sheamus def. Roman Cornell
Sheamus speaks Gaelic so slowly it makes it seem very unconvincing that he knows it at all (I’ve seen him speak it more naturally on his YouTube show, but I wonder if he learned it later). This was a total squash. Sheamus wins in 1:32 with a backbreaker. N/A

Vladimir Kozlov def. Tommy Dreamer
Am I an asshole for thinking that Kozlov doesn’t suck as long as he’s not holding someone in a waistlock? I dig his offense, sue me! That’s not to say the match was good, as it totally put the crowd to sleep. Kozlov hit the spinebuster at 3:59, totally and completely clean. I also don’t understand the logic of jobbing your champion and contender a week and a half before a PPV. How does making the PPV match look like it’s between losers help you get eyes on the show? Christian saves Dreamer from a post-match beating, but hits Dreamer by mistake. Couldn’t they hav done this and given Dreamer the win? Even if Christian had still jobbed, at least then it’d make it seem like a really uphill battle for Christian at the PPV. If they weren’t planning on adding Benjamin or Kozlov to the match (they weren’t) then I don’t get this at all. *